I remember standing in my friend Sarah’s kitchen, surrounded by dishes, papers, and half-empty containers, and thinking ‘this is just messy.’ But after three years of helping people tackle their clutter issues, I’ve learned it’s rarely about laziness. It’s usually about how we actually interact with our belongings.
Most people think clutter is just a mess, but it’s so much more than that. After working with dozens of clients over the past few years, I’ve realized that the real problem isn’t that we can’t organize—we’re fighting against how our brains actually work. There’s a reason your home keeps filling up even when you try to keep it clean, and it’s not because you’re a terrible person.
Why Home Clutter Feels Impossible to Solve
Here’s what I’ve observed: when someone says they want to declutter, they’re often trying to fix the symptom instead of addressing the root cause. The real issue is that our relationship with possessions is complicated. We don’t just store things—we attach meaning to them. When I first started helping people, I’d tell them to get rid of everything they hadn’t used in six months. That approach backfired for most people because it ignored the emotional attachment they had to items.
I’ve seen people cry over old photos, struggle with giving away clothes that still fit, and feel guilty about throwing out things that were gifts. The truth is, most people aren’t hoarding because they’re greedy or lazy—they’re afraid of making the wrong decision. And that fear paralyzes them.
How I Actually Approach Home Clutter Solutions
What I’ve learned is that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. I start by asking people about their daily routines and what their space looks like at its worst. Then I help them identify their ‘clutter patterns.’
For example, I once worked with a client who had a drawer full of pens that she couldn’t use because they were all broken or missing caps. Instead of just saying ‘get rid of them,’ I helped her create a simple system: one pen per desk, and a designated place for all new pens. The key was making the solution practical, not just about getting rid of stuff.
My process has evolved to focus on behavior change rather than just physical organization. It’s about creating systems that work with how people actually live, not how they think they should live.
The Biggest Mistakes I Made Early On with Clutter
Early in my work, I made the classic mistake of thinking that everyone needed the same solution. I’d suggest the KonMari method and expect everyone to love it, but I quickly learned that some people are emotionally attached to their things, while others are overwhelmed by too many choices.
One client literally cried when I suggested she donate a box of old clothing. She’d been collecting these pieces since college and felt like they were part of her identity. I realized I wasn’t just helping her organize; I was helping her redefine what it meant to let go of things.
The biggest lesson? You can’t force someone to change their relationship with possessions. You have to meet them where they are, and that often means acknowledging that their attachment isn’t going to disappear overnight.
What Most People Get Wrong About Decluttering
Here’s something that really bugs me: people think decluttering is about emptying your house. Frankly, I think that’s backwards. The goal isn’t to make your space look neat—it’s to make it functional and reduce stress.
Most people get caught up in the idea of having a perfectly organized space, which is exhausting and ultimately unsustainable. I’ve seen people spend hours every week maintaining a pristine environment only to find themselves overwhelmed again within a few months.
The real secret is to focus on creating systems that support your lifestyle, not just aesthetic preferences. If you’re a busy parent, your system needs to be quick and adaptable. If you’re a creative professional, it might need to accommodate materials and inspiration. The point is to match the system to your life, not to force your life into a system.
Choosing the Right Approach for Your Clutter Situation
There are three main approaches to tackling clutter, and they’re not all equal:
• The Minimalist Approach: This works well for people who are already organized and just want to simplify. It requires commitment and consistency.
• The Systematic Approach: This is better for people who are overwhelmed by chaos. It focuses on building systems that make sense for your daily routine.
• The Therapeutic Approach: This works best when clutter is tied to emotional issues. It involves understanding why you hold onto certain items and finding healthier ways to deal with those feelings.
The key is matching the approach to your situation, not just picking whatever seems trendy. I’ve had clients try minimalist methods when they were actually dealing with anxiety around loss, and it just made things worse.
Frequently Asked Questions About Home Clutter
• Q: How do I know what to keep vs. what to get rid of?
A: Ask yourself if you’ve used it in the last year, if it brings you joy, or if you can imagine living without it. If you can’t answer yes to any of those, it’s probably time to let it go.
• Q: What if I’m worried I’ll need something later?
A: That’s normal. But ask yourself: when would I realistically need it? If it’s been more than two years since you’ve used something, it’s probably safe to let it go.
• Q: Should I hire someone to help?
A: That depends on how much you’re willing to invest in the process. Professional organizers can be helpful, especially for large projects, but they can’t change your habits if you don’t want to change them.
• Q: How do I prevent it from happening again?
A: Build systems that work for your lifestyle. Keep a regular maintenance schedule and make decisions quickly when you’re deciding whether to keep or discard something.
My Final Take on Home Clutter
The truth is, I’ve learned that home clutter isn’t really about being messy—it’s about how we relate to our belongings and our lives. Most people I work with aren’t trying to be hoarders; they’re just trying to navigate a world where we’re constantly buying things we don’t need and holding onto things that don’t serve us anymore.
If you’re struggling with clutter, here’s what I want you to know: you’re not broken. You’re just dealing with a complex issue that’s been made harder by modern life. The solution isn’t to be perfect—it’s to be intentional about what you keep and why you keep it. Start small, stay consistent, and remember that your relationship with your space matters more than the space itself.
I want to leave you with something real: clutter doesn’t have to define your home or your peace of mind. It took me years to figure out that I wasn’t just helping people organize their spaces—I was helping them reclaim their lives. If you’re ready to stop fighting with your clutter and start living with intention, I’d encourage you to pick one small area and just focus on that for the next week. Sometimes, the smallest changes lead to the biggest transformations. You’ve got this, and I’m rooting for you.
